Our sense of style follows us everywhere. During our childhood, our parents are the arbiters of our fashion choices, shaping our identities through clothing. But as we grow, it’s essential to shed this habit of letting others dictate our appearance. Far too often, we allow external factors, such as friends, partners, and responsibilities, to dress us, inadvertently suppressing our individuality.
I remember the day I left for college, armed with two suitcases filled with practical clothing. Survival, not self-expression, was the goal. The emphasis was on having something to wear rather than something that made me feel good. For years, I remained oblivious to my clothing sizes; as long as they fit, that was sufficient.
This mindset extended beyond my wardrobe and seeped into other aspects of my life. I clung to possessions not because I cherished them but because making decisions for myself felt daunting. I’d often tell myself, “I’m just not a stylish person,” but the truth was, I lacked the confidence to make fashion choices. My reliance on external influences to define my style was keeping me stuck on the same plain old outfits I’d worn everyday for years.
Honing your personal style isn’t solely a matter of taste; it’s about trusting yourself. Do you trust your instincts enough to decide for yourself?
My journey toward embracing style autonomy began with a disaster. I was a freshman in college and I had just gone to the local thrift store. There I found a red cargo dress that stood out to me as I entered the store. The next day, I paired the fire truck red cargo dress with black strappy wedges. I felt great until I actually stepped outside of the building. My anxiety was screaming at me to go back upstairs. I felt everyone was looking at me, thinking “how ridiculous.” Throughout the day, I tugged at the outfit, plagued by the thought that I was fashionably adrift. By the end of the day I had concluded that, “I don’t know what fashion is.”
This week, I decided to fully embrace my personal style by wearing two accessories I’ve been hesitant to sport: dandelion cowboy boots and a gray flat cap. Although I’ve never worn cowboy boots before, stumbling upon these at a garage sale was serendipitous. As for hats, I had convinced myself I lacked the right face for them, until now.
To ease into this experience, I began with the gray flat cap on Monday. The cap invoked memories of Ryan from High School Musical, so I opted for an early 2000s look. I paired it with a plum crop top, a light purple skirt, and a trusty old pair of converse sneakers. A messy braid completed the look. My only task that day was to have my fingerprints taken for a background check, but the technician couldn’t help but compliment my outfit. I spent the afternoon strolling through the park, feeling confident and content.
Wednesday saw the debut of the dandelion cowboy boots. Uncertain about how to style them, fate intervened when a friend invited me to watch “Brokeback Mountain” in 35mm. I channeled a country girl vibe, pairing the boots with a white lace top and a brown skirt. To add authenticity, I borrowed a belt with a buckle from my dad, fully immersing myself in the moment. Wednesday’s outfit felt playful yet empowered.
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